Still waiting. Really really terrified of a similar response as last time. I still remember that phone call all too vividly. It probably only lasted 5 minutes or less, but it felt like an awful eternity – listening as all my hopes dashed in a matter of seconds. I came so very close, only to have it all yanked away in the end. It took everything I had to keep my voice even despite the large lump that was rising in my throat.

Please please I don’t want to feel that way again.

I really really really want this. I don’t think I’ve wanted something this badly in my life.