Love / Interest Is Not Enough

One of the hardest things I had to learn about relationships was love is not enough. Like many other lessons this one seems painfully obvious once learned, but not at all otherwise. After all, “Love is all you need” sounds much more romantic. I still remember the way I struggled with “defining” love as a teenager and in my early 20s. At the height of each new relationship I was convinced that I had finally figured out what love really was, only to find myself back at square 1 when it ended. After a few rounds I finally gave up on the notion of “one true meaning of love” and settled for the belief that it will probably keep evolving as I kept learning. Underlying my search for the “true meaning of love”, I think, was this mistaken belief that true love meant forever, that love was both necessary and sufficient for a relationship to work out. It took more than a decade and a handful of break-ups for me to realize how misleading that belief was. Continue reading →

Friday Highlights

It’s been a sad week. The world lost two beloved souls, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. My heart goes out to their families and friends. I encourage everyone to read this article, which sheds some helpful insight on this pernicious disease that is more pervasive than many realize and takes too many lives. I’m looking forward to seeing Ocean’s 8 tonight and visiting an alpaca farm on Sunday.

falling into the blogging rabbit hole

I worked quite a bit on the blog last weekend and through Monday night. By Tuesday I had to take a break to give my eyes a rest and to (finally) spend some quality time with Vincent (who has been very patient and understanding as I fell into the blogging rabbit hole). Ramping up the work here has been an exhilarating experience. My main objective in writing this blog is to help through sharing. I love sharing ideas, experiences, and discoveries – this is something I do regularly with my friends and now I hope to bring it to a larger audience. Continue reading →

Radical honesty at work

battle black blur board game

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

While driving to work this morning, I listened to a podcast by Adam Grant on learning how to love criticism (great podcast, by the way, highly recommend). Ray Dalio from Bridgewater was a guest on the show, so the concept of radical honesty came up. This wasn’t the first time I had heard of the controversial practice, but the timing was…fortuitous. I was scheduled to have my quarterly meeting with the head of our group today, and I had been contemplating what to discuss with her. More specifically, I had been wondering just how honest I should be. Continue reading →

Ill-fitted

woman looking at sea while sitting on beach

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Calling something (or someone) a “bad fit” might not be concerning at first, but an ill-fitting situation can be more devastating than it appears. Some examples from my personal experience:

  • Ill-fitting clothes:
    • What it feels like: You are fat.
    • What it probably is: The dress/pants/shirt/whatever is too small or the cut doesn’t suit your proportions.
  • Ill-fitting relationships
    • What it feels like: you are a bad person, nobody loves you, you don’t deserve love, something is wrong with you.
    • What it probably is: the person you are in a relationship with is not compatible with and/or genuinely interested in you
  • Ill-fitting jobs
    • What it feels like: You suck, you are incompetent, you are stressed out / anxious all the time, you are a failure
    • What it probably is: the job is not properly using your strengths; the working environment is not healthy or supportive; you have no room for creativity/autonomy/growth