woman looking at sea while sitting on beach

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Calling something (or someone) a “bad fit” might not be concerning at first, but an ill-fitting situation can be more devastating than it appears. Some examples from my personal experience:

  • Ill-fitting clothes:
    • What it feels like: You are fat.
    • What it probably is: The dress/pants/shirt/whatever is too small or the cut doesn’t suit your proportions.
  • Ill-fitting relationships
    • What it feels like: you are a bad person, nobody loves you, you don’t deserve love, something is wrong with you.
    • What it probably is: the person you are in a relationship with is not compatible with and/or genuinely interested in you
  • Ill-fitting jobs
    • What it feels like: You suck, you are incompetent, you are stressed out / anxious all the time, you are a failure
    • What it probably is: the job is not properly using your strengths; the working environment is not healthy or supportive; you have no room for creativity/autonomy/growth