by Halley

Motivation

It’s hard to find motivation to study here, at least from classes. My grades won’t transfer to my duke GPA, and there are no midterms or any other graded work throughout the year. I could feel myself slumping into a hopeless apathy. You know there must be something wrong when I do LSAT logic games as a form of procrastination, seriously. Wth?

But on the flip side, I do manage to find small incidences of motivation and inspiration from people around me, friends, movies, songs, and books. Thank god for these reminders.

by Halley

wait…really?

My mom never ceases to surprise me. Not so much in what she does, but rather how she reacts to things I say/do. Somehow I always expect a much more concerned/surprised reaction, but instead what I get is a very matter-of-fact and accepting response. It’s a bit, I dunno, strange? In a good way, I guess. You’d think I should know my parents fairly well having lived with them for 20 years (more or less), but apparently not as much as I thought….

Now, I wonder what my mom would think/say if I asked her about….

by Halley

swing of things

So I went to a hiphop dance audition today. That was fun and interesting. I guess one of the perks being here is I kind of get a fresh start at things. I get the best of both worlds: new opportunities and the curiosities of being a freshman, but with some wisdom and experiences of a junior. But on top of that, I also get the benefit of doing things without having to worry too much about their long term consequences, because well, I won’t be here in the long term. It’s really quite awesome, kinda like summers stretched into a year. You know, people tend to do crazy things in the summer because those warm nights and exotic locales can fool you into thinking that they are more transient and wonderful than anything you’ve ever encountered before. Every moment becomes ridiculously romanticized and people actually live like there’s no tomorrow, or just…summer is short.

But I’ve been there, those crazy summer adventures and whatnot, and I can say I’ve had my fair share of everything that is suppose to experience, both the good and the bad. In a way, I’m glad that I have had those memories, especially the painful ones. It’s better that i have learned the lessons of living abroad on my own and dealing with every sort of inconveniences and surprises while it was still relatively short-termed. 

I wonder if I’m getting a bit desensitized towards traveling. Afterall I have been doing more sightseeing in the past year than I have in all of my life before combined (maybe). And I really just miss staying home and reading a novel, watching movies with friends, you know, trading the exotic and exciting for the warm and cozzy. It’s not really being lazy, at least not completely. I still manage to convince myself to get off my butt and go see new places and stuff, but they just don’t fascinate me as much as before. Maybe I just need a break. So it’s rather a shame, you know, me being in London but not really going anywhere. But I guess that’s more incentive for me to come back to europe in the future, as an American citizen (which will make everything 100x easier). 

On the other hand, I love playing bridge with my singaporean friends. I like snuggling in my bed and trying to read about ontological arguments and god and such, and then predicatably falling asleep after only 10 pages. I still find it a bit strange that I have to go to another floor for showers, but hey, it’s better than battling with the stupid shower system we have on this floor. The weather is actually better than Cleveland, and less crazy than Duke’s. So despite all the rain and such, I don’t mind it as much. I do really need a pair of boots though, somehow it never entered my mind to bring the pair I had from home. Unfortunate. 

Life is getting more busy by the day, but in a good way. I’m currently babysitting a pair of rather cute kids for a Duke alum once a week, it’s a relatively painless way to earn some cash. I’ll also be starting badminton and salsa this week, so that’ll be fun. Probably will take some hiphop class too when they start. Classes are going alright, still need to get books and such. Also, I need more motivation for lsat’s and doing hw when they don’t count XD.

by Halley

Picturesque

That’s what it is, my life in London. Nevermind the lack of gothic architecture and vast amount of space that I miss more than I have expected, but as much as I might complain about the claustrophobic atmosphere and reckless drivers, I must nod to the charm of this international city. For someone who has spent the last decade of her life living in quiet suburbs of America, London is a 180 degree change if there ever was one. Nevermind that I was travelling in Europe and stayed in oxford this summer, even my visits to this city only few months ago were nothing like living here. They weren’t lying when the urbanites mused about rushing down a crowded street, leaves swirling in an autumn breeze, as they are carried away in an intoxicating rhythm. Though Starbucks is grossly overpriced and incomparable to those in the States, it makes me wonder why they even have any business when european cafes are so much superior and cheaper. The distance between Commonwealth Hall and LSE is approximately the same between East and West campus, yet the route couldn’t be more different. The street is a typical London street that is congested 24/7 and lined with dozens of shops and restaurants. Within the meager 1.8 miles, this same street also manages to take up three different names. Exactly why a name could only be used for a little more than half a mile I will never understand.

But aside from the delicious mochas, more restaurants for me to explore in a year, pastries that too beautiful to eat, and a street of shopping with not one of each shop, but 2 or 3 (yes, there are 3 H&M’s on Oxford St.), I I can still be so hopelessly homesick. I miss Duke, or rather, my friends at Duke. I miss all the conveniences I’m used to, all the ‘free’ things (buses, printing, etc.), and I miss people that I can hug and sit together in a room comfortably without saying a word. 

If you ask me whether I made the right decision in coming here…I can’t quite tell you. It isn’t quite what I thought it’d be, though the academic part is quite perfect and meets all of my highest expectations. But I couldn’t have foreseen the numerous difficulties and discomforts and incoveniences. Nor could I have fully imagined how much I’d miss him, or how painful separation would be. It is so like me, always a bit too optimistic and always managing to convince myself that it won’t be too uncomfortable to put myself out of my comfort zone. I wonder if this has become some sort of a habit for me, always putting new and challenging experiences on something like a pedestal, willing to sacrifice so much for them. Then in the end, I seek confirmation from others that it was worth it, because I’m often a bit too scarred by the adventures to remember the conviction and passion with which I made the initial decisions. 

So I try to console myself that at least I will have good stories to tell, and that maybe, just maybe, I have grown a little bit. But really, sometimes I wish I could just remain a happily ignorant child if knowledge and wisdom comes with such a high price. As for stories…well, there are always the books and NYTimes…. Why bother getting my own hands dirty?

by Halley

Finally!

This summer has been the longest break I’ve ever taken from school ever since I was…2. I have never been away from academia for this long ever since I started school. Maybe it was because of the five months of absence that really made my heart grow founder, but today was arguably the best first day of school I have ever had. It was just amazing.

Philosophy of social sciences is simply the combination of all my academic passions rolled into one class. As I sat through the introduction of the class, I found myself falling more and more in love with it. Every topic gripped my uttermost attention. All the quotes, the philosophers, the ideas, they were everything I have thought of, questioned, and wondered for half of my life…and I’m finally going to study them in more depths now. I can’t very well summarize everything that went on today…but here’s a brief description of the class from our syllabus:

“This course aims to develop an understanding of the nature of society and of our knowledge of it, through philosophical examination of the social sciences and through the integration of philosophical and social scientific theory. You should complete this course with a knowledge of central debates concerning the forms of social scientific explanation, the nature of social entities and events, the nature of human action and the forms of our knowledge of its causes and motivations, and the scope and limits of scientific knowledge of society. You should also have learnt, or have sharpened your ability, to analyse the conceptual and normative presuppositions of both social scientific theory and method and of particular arguments made by social scientists.”

This doesn’t even come close to the awesomeness of the class. But it’s the best i can do for now.

My other lecture today was Advanced economic analysis. This class is basically the reason why I fell in love with economics three years ago, and the purpose of putting myself through all those gruelling core classes at Duke. This is what I slaved away doing Consumer theories, producer theories, econometrics, and all the other painful stuff in econ 55, 105, 110, and 139 for. In a nutshell, I’m actually going to use what I have learned to study the more complex models used right now by economists and how they are used in current economic research. The course covers four main topics: behavioral economics, economic growth, experimental economics, and monetary policies. It’s a good coverage of both macro and micro, and most importantly, it actually deals with what economists actually do right now and what the field is really about.

Unfortunately I won’t have another lecture until Thursday…but I’m definitely looking forward to other two classes: History of Economics (covering 250 years, from 17th century merchantilist theory to 20th century neoclassical theories. I have no idea what they are, but that’s why I’m in the class.), and Problems in Analystic Philosophy (also don’t have much idea about this one, but once again, that’s why I want to find out).